Kisses and Hands
by EmmaMary
Summary: She had only kissed four men in her life, and she knew how each of their hands worked into their kisses. After all, she had always loved hands. Pam centric. JAM!


**My first office fic, I do plan on doing more beacuse Jim and Pam are so perfect for each other. Does anyone else hate Karen? I hope they use her to bring Jim and Pam ultimatly back together. **

**OMG this is my 20th fic!**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing, not The Office, not Interview with a Vampire, nada!**

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Pam Beesley had only kissed four men in her life.

She was 26 years old.

Her math major of a brother figured, one night while her siblings were visiting her from Long Island, that she had kissed, figuratively, One man for every six and a half years she had been alive.

Her younger sister had kissed one guy for every two years of her life, and she was four years younger.

Still, Pam didn't find herself pathetic at all, except for the fact that three out of the four men had only kissed her once.

The first person who had ever kissed her was Roy. It was her freshman year, and he had daringly taken her to see _Interview with a Vampire_. She had always had a fear of vampire, and when she told him she might be afraid, he had just kissed her. At that moment she thought it was the most romantic thing in the world, it defiantly made up for forgetting her on their first date.

She and Roy had dated for the next three years or so, but when he went off to college and she was starting her senior year, they broke it off. More, he broke it off, and she was heart broken.

After three weeks of sadness, she decided she was going to put herself back out there, she really never did like being alone.

Adrian Carter was a boy she had talked to in her econ class, he seemed nice enough, and when he invited her to go ice skating she couldn't think of a reason not to go, besides the fact that she couldn't ice skate. That night, as she was tying up her ice skates she couldn't help but feel a pair of eyes on her, when she looked up, Adrian didn't break his gaze. Instead he told her how beautiful he though she was, and kissed her, hard and long. She smiled as she wriggled her way to the rink. The rest of the night was a disaster, he didn't help her learn how to balance, or hold her hand like Jim would do a number of years later. He teased her when she fell, cruelly, not at all like Jim's cute teasing, and when he practically ran over a little girl he kept going, not caring that she was then on the ground crying for her father. When he called her the next day she told him she wasn't ready for a relationship.

The next boy she went out with was a lot more like her, Trace Samson. He took her to a local art exhibit after seeing her work in their art class. They stopped in front of Van Gough's _Two Lovers, _and she told him she loved that he took her here, and he kissed her. He didn't call her back for a three weeks, and when he finally did he told her it wasn't her, it was that she was a girl, and he was pretty sure he didn't want to kiss girls anymore.

Roy called her three weeks after Trace's confession. She felt horrible about the kisses she shared with the two boys, so she took Roy back when he asked, they haven't been apart since, until now.

Now that she thinks back to it, that was probably when their relationship started to fall apart, practically when it had just began.

She was now independent again. It had taken her nine long years to completely fall out of love with Roy, nine years and a single kiss.

Probably the best kiss of her life, although she didn't have a whole lot to compare it to, Roy, a jerk, and a boy who turned out to be gay.

She tried not to think about that night too much, that kiss, they way his hands…

Oh god Jim's hands.

Pam had always been a fan of hands. There was something she found so, incredibly _sexy _about them.

Hands could be held, could touch and feel. She loved when someone's larger hands would envelop her own; it always made her feel so safe.

It was on rare occasion where Roy was willing to hold her hand.

Holding hands meant so much, it was so universal. Parents held the hands of their children, grandsons helped their grandmothers walk, friends held hands to stay together in a crowd. All in all holding hands was a connection, whether it is for safety, assurance or love. You never hold the hand of something you don't care about, you don't love.

She remembers when she was four and her brother was three that they got lost in a department store. He held her hand the entire time they were looking for their mom, he told her it was so he wouldn't get in trouble for loosing her too, but she liked to think he was letting her know he was there.

Hands were always so interesting, so easily observed. Hands that fidgeted, that typed, and cooked, sewed, and wrote flowing words.

Her hands that drew those pictures Jim seemed to praise so much.

Jim's hands.

The way tat they reached their long fingers into her helly bean dish. How the flicked and fidgeted things while he was on the phone. Or how he used them to talk, there was something so special and enthusiastic about them that made Pam's heart flutter.

Hands were the key to human contact, and each touch always meant something.

She has already started to forget they meanings in the way Roy would touch her, she almost forgotten his touches almost all together.

But not Jim's.

They way they would touch her always made her smile, they way he grabbed her hands when her laughter brought tear to her eyes, or when he grasped her shoulder while she sat in her receptionist chair, or the way they held her while he kissed her.

She never let her thoughts stray farther than this, never before anyway, but tonight she didn't have the energy to stop it, didn't have the power to deny anymore.

When he kissed her his hands were so different form the other men she had kissed.

Adrian didn't even touch her, Trace held her hands awkwardly, and Roy always help her waist, squeezing her tight, almost possessively.

But Jim wrapped his arms around her, letting his hard roam her back, softly, and graciously. She had never felt so warm or so safe in her entire life.

She thinks back to that night, to those feeling, and then all the other feeling Roy ever mad her feel in a kiss, in any gesture, and she can't for the life of her remember him ever making her feel so amazing.

Her thoughts were lost in Jim, staying there till she felt and anger boil inside of her.

He knew she was single, he knew he had to have a least played a part in the cancellation of her long awaited wedding, he had seemed to want her so badly, so why didn't he just call.

Because of her.

Because she crushed his hopes, denied her feelings, broke his heart and destroyed hers in the process.

She had no right to be angry at him. She had every right to be angry at herself.

Pam no longer denied her want, or her need for him, yet she had no idea how to express it to him.

Would a phone call really do?

She wasn't sure, but at this moment the realization hit her, she had to try. Although she was independent and loved it, she was far from happy; she missed him to much to be happy, it had to be possible he missed her that way too.

There was a phone sitting next to her bed, and she reached for it, dialing his cell number.

And when she heard his deep voice washing over her, she realized something.

Jim was definitely the type of man that would hold her hand, every chance he got.

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**Oh, there's one thing (or one that i know of) that doesn't fit with the show, its small, and visual, if you know what it is let me know, if not, it may ruin the story just a tad so I won't mention it. **

**Reviews actually do help me write, I have 2 stories in the works I need to finish, plus a bunch more in my head for Jam here. Please review, it only takes a moment to make my day! Plus it's my 20th fiction on this site, so i believe a celebration is in order, lol, jk, please review!**


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